The Grass is Always Greener... But is It Really?

4 May

Life can be tough. Bills pile up, relationships hit snags, and sometimes it feels like the universe is throwing every curveball it can muster. It's during these times that the age-old saying creeps in: "The grass is always greener on the other side." We scroll through social media, bombarded by seemingly perfect lives, and convince ourselves that everyone else has it easier. But is this greener grass an illusion, or is there some truth to it?

I have been through many adversities such as bullying, body shaming, sexual harassment, bereavement, emotional isolation and depression. Surprisingly, most people only want to see the materialistic things like where one lives, job designation, salary, vacations, cars, watches, clothes, etc. Then there are some who just don’t want to listen to anyone else’s story and prefer to talk about their side of the green and keep tending to it.

The truth is, the grass is just as brown as yours on the other side. Most people don't post their struggles, their anxieties, or the mountains of laundry overflowing their baskets. We compare our messy selves to someone else's curated best, and that's a recipe for feeling like you're constantly falling short or envious and building barriers between your relationships.

But here's the real kicker: even if someone else does have a seemingly perfect life, wouldn't it be a little boring if everyone had the same path? The beauty of life lies in its diversity – the challenges, the triumphs, the unique experiences that shape who we are. The road we took and more importantly the one we didn’t take… (I always keep going back to my favourite poem by Robert Frost "The Road Not Taken")

Here's my view on how to shift your perspective from the "greener grass" mentality:

Practice Gratitude:
It is crucial to make a conscious effort to take a few moments every day to reflect on and appreciate the good things in your life, both big and small. This practice of gratitude can help you gain a deeper understanding and appreciation for the things that bring you joy and fulfilment. It can also help you focus on the positive aspects of your life, which can have a significant impact on your mental and emotional well-being.
By taking the time to acknowledge the good things in your life, you are essentially training your brain to look for and appreciate positivity, which can help you cultivate a more optimistic outlook on life. This can help you feel more motivated, energized, and productive, and also make you more resilient in the face of adversity.
So, whether it's taking a moment to savour your morning coffee, admiring the beauty of nature, or expressing gratitude for the people in your life, make it a habit to appreciate the good things in your life every day. It may seem like a small act, but it can have a profound impact on your overall happiness and well-being.
Focus on Your Growth:
It's natural to feel envious of others who seem to be more successful, but it's important to remember that everyone has their journey. Instead of wasting your energy on envy, it's more productive to focus on your personal growth and becoming the best version of yourself.
To do so, it's essential to set clear and realistic goals for yourself. What do you want to achieve in your personal and professional life? Write down your goals and create a plan to achieve them. Don't forget to break down your goals into smaller, manageable tasks, as this can help you stay motivated and focused. Most of my clients envy others' financial status and say they need more wealth and when I ask them how much is good enough ? most have no tangible number. In my opinion, money is never enough and we need to put a finite number to our wants and then go for that goal.
It's also important to celebrate your progress along the way. Whether it's a small achievement or a major milestone, take the time to acknowledge your hard work and celebrate your success. This positive reinforcement can help you stay motivated and continue to work towards your goals.
Remember, personal growth is a journey, not a destination. It's okay to make mistakes and experience setbacks, but it's important to learn from them and keep moving forward. By focusing on your own growth and progress, you'll be able to live a more fulfilling and satisfying life.
Embrace the Journey:
Life is an ever-evolving journey that presents us with an array of learning experiences. We all face adversity at some point in our lives, whether it's in the form of personal struggles, professional challenges, or unexpected setbacks. However, these challenges offer us a chance to build resilience and tap into our hidden strengths. They provide us with an opportunity to push ourselves beyond our limits and discover new aspects of our personality that we might not have known existed.
When we approach obstacles as opportunities to grow, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and a deeper understanding of ourselves. We learn to embrace the struggle and see it as a vital part of our journey towards personal growth. By transforming our perspective, we can see adversity as a catalyst for positive change and transformation.
In my view, life is a constant learning experience that offers us a variety of challenges along the way. These challenges can be tough, but they help us develop our resilience, tap into our hidden strengths, and embrace personal growth. Therefore, we should approach every challenge as a chance to learn and grow, and we will be better for it in the end.
Limit Social Comparison:
In today's fast-paced world, where social media has become an integral part of our lives, it's easy to get caught up in the trap of comparing ourselves with others. This can often lead to negative emotions like feeling inadequate, low self-esteem, and even depression. Therefore, it's important to take steps to protect our mental health and maintain a positive outlook towards life.
One of the most effective ways to achieve this is by limiting social comparison. Social media provides us with a platform that presents endless opportunities to compare ourselves with others, and it's easy to get overwhelmed by the constant display of seemingly perfect lives, material possessions, and flawless appearances. To avoid experiencing such negative emotions, it's crucial to identify and unfollow accounts that make you feel inferior, envious, or unhappy.
For instance, you might come across people who regularly post about their extravagant lifestyles, luxurious vacations, or perfect relationships. While it's natural to feel envious, it's essential to realise that what we see on social media is often a curated version of reality. Therefore, it's important to take a step back and focus on your own strengths, interests, and aspirations, rather than constantly comparing yourself to others.
By eliminating such accounts from your feed, you'll be able to shift your perspective and focus on the things that truly matter to you. This, in turn, can considerably boost your self-confidence, reduce your stress levels, and help you maintain a healthy and optimistic outlook towards life. Remember that social media should be a tool that enhances your life, not a source of negativity that hinders your mental well-being.

Our life is like a book, with each chapter telling a unique and beautiful story. We are the author of our own tale, and no one else can write it for us. It's easy to fall into the trap of comparing our life with others and wishing that we were living someone else's life. But the truth is that every individual has their own set of challenges and struggles. Instead of focusing on what we lack, it's important to cherish what we have and nurture our strengths.

Just like a garden, our life needs to be tended to with care and attention. We need to water our own grass, give it the necessary nutrients, and watch it grow. It's true that the grass may not always be perfectly green, and our life may not be free of challenges. But the view from our own side is pretty spectacular.

When we learn to appreciate what we have and focus on our own journey, we'll be able to create a life that is fulfilling and meaningful. So, go ahead and write your own story, and make it a beautiful one.

In life, we must play the game as it is presented to us, just as in golf we must play the ball as it lies. Whether we find ourselves on a fairway, in a bunker, or deep water, we must persevere and take the shot.